Thursday, September 15, 2005

It’s (Not) Grim Up North



Judith Holder is on a one-woman mission to put southern misconceptions in their place with her new book, “It’s (Not) Grim Up North” (accompanying the current BBC2 series.)

"We need to persuade our friends in the South to stop lording it over us and referring to the North as if it's stuck in the Ice Age," says Holder.

Coronation Street actor Bill Roache (our Ken Barlow) knows how myopic southern types can be. "To people living in London, the Watford Gap was about as far north as they could reasonably visualise civilisation extended to."

Weatherfield co-star Shobna Gulati (our Sunita Alahan) reckons northerners should keep quiet. "We are running the risk of potentially ruining our north. If we tell the southerners that it's better up here, they might come."

"My god, if I had to live either in Coronation Street or adjacent to the Queen Vic public house, I'll take Coronation Street every time."
Roy Hattersley

"I keep being told Coronation Street has done nothing to enhance the region's reputation. But if it came to a choice between living with the crazy geriatrics and backward teenagers of Weatherfield or the pathological criminals of Walford - where EastEnders live - give me Coronation Street."
Roy Hattersley

You know you are in the North when...

You have more than one hot water bottle in the kitchen drawer.
When you ask for brown toast, people find you the slice of white toast which looks the darkest.
People know what to do with their lard.
You can park your car outside your house.
People ask if you do a reduction for cash.
You go home for your tea before you go out on the town.
You are comfortable in just a T-shirt in the snow.

You know you are in the South when...

You discover there are more life coaches and feng shui experts in the phone book than plumbers.
You see signs on people's gates saying 'No Casual Callers' or 'No Turning'.
You notice the bus shelters are all mock Tudor.
People's wheelie bins have a leafy camouflage cover.
You realise the place is full of parents who send their children away to school.
Everything costs three times as much as it should do.

TODAY’S QUIZ: Where do you fall on the North-South divide?

4 comments:

John said...

I scored...

You are a NORTHERNER

Practical and down to earth, you are a northerner at heart. You like your food plain and your speaking plainer! A meal out better be worth the price - none of that fancy foie gras for you!

You thrive in adversity and work hard for what you want. You know the names of your neighbours and are friendly with the local shopkeepers. Finally you have a great deal of common sense. No one can pull the wool over your eyes!

kowy said...

I'm a Northerner too. I knew it before I even took the test.

Then again, I WAS born in Birkenhead. To a family of dockworkers.

Jacqueline said...

Even before I took the test...Southerner me.

Left Surrey for Toronto - enough said. (But I do like the cold - it's the Scot in me.)

You are a SOUTHERNER

You are most happy soaking up the culture of a vibrant city. Art galleries, museums and ground-breaking theatre are all your bag. You must have plenty to do to stay entertained and are prepared to pay for quality even if it means meals can get a bit pricey.

You would avoid cold weather if you could and would rather see the wild outdoors in a beautiful painting than trudging through the countryside!

John said...

Someone needs to create some HTML code for that for the blogs.